"Mr. Sandman"/"Dreamer" (medley)

"Bring me a dream;
Make her complexion like peaches and cream.
Giver her two lips like roses in clover,
then tell me that my lonesome nights are over."

"Dreamer, you know you are a dreamer
Well can you put your hands in your head, oh no!"


We all fantasize about our futures: our future house; job; car(s); possessions. Even before we understand what real life really is (which is probably about the age of 25 these days), we know what we want... and this includes who we share our bed with. As time goes by, and as we grow older and wiser (well, some of us), we realize that maybe we don't want to pay the property tax to live in a big ol' mansion. Perhaps secret agents and runway models aren't the best career choices. It may be too pricey to own a garage full of Aston Martins. But unfortunately many people refuse to discard their desire to call a certain someone (that they have imagined, no less) their own and take it very seriously.
In our day and age, we are offered a smorgasbord of romantic fantasies that we can "apply" to our own lives. From what we are shown on the television and in movies, from what we read in novels and magazines, we can create the perfect person to spend the rest of our lives with (or perhaps just the night). At the same time, we have no choice but to select from these fantasies. The media, after all, dictates what is cool and... well, nobody wants to be a square, right?
And so, many young girls sit daydreaming about either a "strong silent type" or perhaps a "pimp" or "gangsta'". Some may even be thinking about a "real gentleman" but none of these personality traits matter unless they have some sort of accent and/or are a specific race. The boys (who think themselves men) are on the prowl for some "tight pussy, big booty, nice tits" and someone who's gonna give it up real easy. I believe the technical term is "Slut". You can narrow down your preference even more by making them part of a niche (ie: punk, goth, geek, tomboy/ metro-sexual, etc...) Yes, the choices are truly endless. Aren't we lucky that we can create our very own make-believe lover?*
I think not.

With this premise introduced, we can now explore the problems it presents: firstly, it places limits on who a person can and can't engage in a romantic relationship with. Secondly, it ruins the chances of a potential well-matched suitor or beau from successfully courting the other. Thirdly, it can lead to disappointment in life and regret.
Creating and believing in these fantasies severely limits the different people that could be a good match. For example, let's say a girl longs for a gangster guy who wears those fleece jackets in the summer (ya goof!), drives a sweet ride, and getz all crunk up in da club. Now, let's say she meets this guy walking down the street (the only reason she notices him is because I draw attention in his direction by laughing at him as he passes by in his bomber jacket... in 110 degree weather). He's says " 'Sup, bitch. Why don't we go back to my crib and get our freak on?" Now, a line like that should make her knees weak but instead she says "Heeeeeeeeell, no!" and keeps walking. This guy is everything she's imagined but she turns him down. Why? Because he's not the "right" race. This guy could've been everything she's dreamed of, but she let him go because he was born the "wrong" color. You might think to yourself, "That's retarded"... but it happens.
Now, let's say a guy has his "heart" set on a hot goth girl who also offers exceptionally stimulating conversation. He has no luck but he's got a good friend. She's kind of a bookworm and a little bit of a klutz. Not quite what the guy is looking for but he finds her sweet and her quirks endearing and best of all he could talk to her all day. However, despite all that, when she professes her love to her friend, he has to turn her down. So what if they'd have ended up a perfect couple. So what if they completed each other. She wasn't the girl he dreams of having so it could never work out.
This matter of limiting our lives to our fictitious future beaus, more often than not, ends up hurting both the wooers (those who are cast aside because they do not fit the bill) and the wooed (those whose imaginations are running their love lives). We've already explored how the potential matches are rejected, but in the end, perhaps the people most hurt are those who have brought it upon themselves. When we grow up, when we mature to the point where we don't give a damn about our old fantasies and just want someone to love and to love us back, what regrets are we left with? How many potential matches were you willing to let walk out of your life? How many real hearts had to be broken for the sake of one of uncertain existence? These are things people who take it too far are going to have to live with (But, if all that's cool with you, just disregard this whole paragraph).
Another damaging affect of holding onto such dreams may come after you may have seemingly discarded it. If one who never real gave up on their "dream lover" got happily married to a wonderful person who completed them well enough one day found that "dream lover" what would happen? Nothing good, I assure you.

This is not to say fantasizing is entirely a bad thing. It's all good and fun to imagine who your going to end up with (be it the for rest of your life or a tumble in sheets), but we need to be aware of how far we take it. In the game of love, we play with some of the most precious and fragile things we have: Trust, time, minds, hearts. Don't miss your chance at love... and don't deny the chance to others.

PS: On that last note, I understand that you can't force yourself to love someone and you shouldn't feel bad or guilty if you have to turn someone down. If it's not there, it's not there, right?

*This is obviously only a small segment of a much larger list of both physical and personality traits. Also, not included is social status, which can play as much of a role as the previously mentioned.