"Only God Knows Why"

"I've said it too many times and I still stand firm:
'You get what you put in and people get what they deserve'
Still I aint seen mine, no I aint seen mine.
I've been given but just aint been gettin'
I've been walkin that thin line."

It's a topic I've covered in blogs and conversations in the past, but I am constantly made aware of this. What am I talking about? I'm talking about karma.
For those who don't have any idea what karma is, I suppose I should enlighten you, as it will appear several times throughout this post. For those of you who think they know what karma is, I suggest you read on as well. Karma has its origins in Hinduism and Buddhism. According to their philosophies, karma is "The total effect of a person's actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person's existence, regarded as determining the person's destiny", specifically, "a person's actions affecting his or her fate in the next reincarnation." However, nowadays, karma has become among many other words in the English language that is no longer used properly. Today, karma is commonly known as the metaphysical or supernatural force that rewards or punishes you for your previous actions; if you do "good" things for your environment and people around you, things will happen in your favor whereas, if you do "bad" things, "bad things will happen to you.* Basically, if you follow the Golden Rule, you'll be rewarded with happiness of equal or greater measure and if you don't, you're screwed.

For here on out, unless otherwise stated, I will be referring to karma as the second "definition" states.

I don't believe in karma.
It may be an unpopular thought in this day and age, but I have little reason to believe in karma. At least, I have little reason to believe that karma works for me. This isn't to say, however, that I act without regard for the well-being of others or my surroundings.

Those who believe in karma believe that if they do well by others that they will prosper on multiple levels. In a world where satisfaction and happiness seem so hard to come by, it's not a bad deal: be good to people and better things will happen to you. It's quite a good sell. I mean, don't you just want to go out there and help an old lady cross the street or give me a foot massage at the thought of wonderful things happening to you?
And what about all the bad people in the world? Cheaters, killers, thieves, liars. Why, they're going to get what's coming to them, I'll tell ya what. They'll wish they'd have spent their time making the world a better place and helping others. They'll wish they didn't mess with karma. Yup, karma means justice for all.
One reason for why many people live by karma doesn't lie in the outside world, but within ourselves. Many people believe that a major key to prosperity (physically, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually) lies in karma. Their philosophy, as it were, may go something like "I want to do good things so good things can happen to me". They do well, not so much in the interest of the benefit of others, but for themselves so they might prosper from the rewards karma might heap upon them.
Of course, not everyone who believes in karma does so for such superficial reasons. One might adhere to the philosophy of karma so that one might avoid any unnecessary unpleasantness brought on by "negative" actions or ignorance towards the needs of others.
These are both fair reasons one might live their lives by this spin-off of the Ethic of Reciprocity. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve one's chances for prosperity nor is there anything wrong with side-stepping possible unfortunate events. So, why is it that I've chosen to shun karma?

If karma is indeed a real force in our world, I must not be affected by it. The same goes for many many others in the world. So many people give of themselves for the good and well-being of others and, in the end, they've little to show for it. At the same time, some people commit crimes to various degrees and still come away from it smiling, leaving their victims to deal with the anger and sorrow brought on by such injustice.
Apart from performing and writing and doing other creative things, I feel that my life is most fulfilled when I'm helping others; serving others in whatever way I can so long as their own intentions are just (according to my own philosophies). This ranges from simple things like holding doors for people to lending an ear to one who needs to rant to being a shoulder to cry on to being a mediator in heated arguments. I try to be there for others and when my effort is acknowledge, it's kind of nice. When I see my efforts actually being useful and serving their intended purpose, it fills me with a kind of satisfaction. The same kind I get when I'm on stage or writing music. It's the kind of satisfaction you get when you know you're doing what you were meant to do and you're doing it well.
Despite this, since 2006, I've felt like I've slowly been losing so much I've considered important. I'm not saying it's been an abysmal two years; there have been many good times along the way. But the single-most significant thing that was "given" to me was taken away ("Gone Away"). The relationships with the friends whom I'd considered amongst my best now hinge on next-to-nothing and I'm often overtaken by lonliness ("Don't You Forget About Me" , "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" ). Creative projects I'd poured myself into never came to fruition ("Long Time"). I don't believe in "luck" but if I did, I would say that I have very very bad luck (actually, others will testify to that too). I feel constantly bombarded by things, big and small, that are at work to bring me down.
And I have been down.

I know that I'm not the only one being dealt a poor hand. Heck, some people have it a lot worse than I do. Some don't have the strength or the support to get through their own personal Hell and they just... give up. I nearly did myself once. Somehow I manage to keep moving when I'm knocked down. I will always get back up and I will always keep living the way I think I should: serving others whenever I'm needed and I'll do it with or without Karma in my life. I may be down, but it's not going to sway my ideals and I'll be damned (quite literally) if I'm going to throw in the towel.