"The Kill"

"What if I fell to the floor?
Couldn't take this anymore?
What would you do?"

After my recent admission of harboring feelings of hatred ("Numb"), I took a really good look at myself. I felt as if I was somehow tainted, like my emotions had marked me, my soul, as unclean. I was certainly aware that no human is an exception when it comes to these natural emotional reactions to external stimuli but at the moment, I just couldn't bare to think that other people could feel this way towards another human.

Hatred, if one has never experienced it, is a very dark emotion; an evil emotion. There is no perfect way to describe the feeling (as is the way with love, hate's (arguably) polar opposite); it goes far beyond feeling angry or furious, or sorrowful, or vengeful. All these feelings are not a result of hatred, but may, subjectively, be by-products of it. Even so, we very rarely truly hate another person. Instead, often what we actually feel is hatred towards their actions.
For example, a friend of mine liked a girl. This was no secret to people, especially to those within our circle of friends. Then, one of his friends made a move on his girl... with his lips. Now, when my buddy found out about this, he was torn up; intensely hurt and terribly furious. The guy who'd made his move on my friend's girl was not a bad guy though, he just made a really really really bad decision. My buddy severed his relationship with him after this turn of events. This happened around 5 years ago. Today they're on fairly good terms and my buddy won't hesitate to say a good thing about the very person he "hated" 5 years ago.
In situations such as this, one might also hate another because it is "appropriate" to do so or they feel that they should. Consider this: if you had just been cheated on and a friend went up to you and asked "How do you feel about that guy who stole your girl?", how do you think the person making said inquiry would react if you responded with "Meh... I'm mad at him but... I know he's not really a bad guy." The guy might thing you're on crack. So, as an automatic response, both to the anger and frustration we feel and to appease those we know, we "commit" ourselves to hatred towards others.

As mentioned in a previous post, "hate" is a very easy word to throw around. But I've found that often times, when we use the word we very rarely mean it. It is much easier to truly love something than it is to truly hate something. That being said, we need to be careful when saying we hate another. Every time we admit it and manifest into some sort perceivable form, be it the words we say or our actions, we get closer and closer to having our false emotions bloom into full-fledged hatred... and believe me, it's not a place anybody wants to be in.
If you think you hate someone, I urge you to take another look at your relationship with them and the events and/or actions which you believe have led you to this decision. No decent person wants to hate another; no one who feels love towards others truly wants to hate anyone. Most of all, nobody wants to hate a person they once cared for.

I end this post with this: don't forget that people can change. People can right the wrongs they've committed. If you do hate someone, don't let yourself believe you'll hate them forever... I'm certainly holding out for an outcome like this in my situation.