"Change"

"And it's a sad picture
The final blow hits you
Somebody else gets
What you wanted again
You know it's all the same
Another time and place
Repeating history
And you're getting sick of it

But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything to see it through
Because these things will change

Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up
To hold us back
Will fall down
It's a revolution
The time will come for us to finally win
We'll sing hallelujah
We'll sing hallelujah, oh

So we've been outnumbered
Raided and now cornered
It's hard to fight
When the fight ain't fair

We're getting stronger now
From things they never found
They might be bigger
But we're faster and never scared

You can walk away
Say we don't need this
But there's something in your eyes
Says we can beat this
'Cause these things will change

Tonight we'll stand and get off our knees
Fight for what we've worked for
All these years
The battle was long
It was the fight of our lives
But we'll stand up, champions tonight
It was the night things changed

Can you see it now?
The walls that they put up
To hold us back
Fell down
It's a revolution
Throw your hands up
'Cause we never gave in
We'll sing hallelujah
We sang hallelujah
Hallelujah "
Send "Change" Ringtone to your Cell
2009 is less than an hour away from wrapping up. Yes, I am at home by myself blogging. Not that I really mind though. I've been feeling rather somber today and kind of relish the solitude. Mostly, I suppose because I've been thinking back on the past 365.
A lot of crap happened this year: They made a sub-par "Wolverine: Origins" movie and an even worse "G.I. Joe" movie (that made me cry); the reaper went on a killing spree on a whole slew of celebrities (including the one and only and much sorely-missed by me, Billy Mays); Kanye West, that twat, decided it would be the best course of action, both for his image and as a human being, to interrupt and embarrass Taylor Swift at the MTV VMAs; the radio was dominated by T-Pain. The list goes on.

Kanye West was very lucky I wasn't present at the MTV VMAs. So very luck...

Despite all this, the was a fair amount of good that 2009 carried with it. The long-running comic "100 Bullets" was finally brought to it's stunning conclusion (or so they say. I received the last TPB for Christmas and am re-reading the whole series from the beginning!); "The Shield" also came to an end in what I think was one of the best series finales of all time... all time (Kanye, you twat!); George W. Bush is no longer head of state to the most powerful nation in the world; Water was discovered on the moon. Etc... etc...
I've been looking back at my previous entries today (including the ones I've yet to publish; I've got about 12 I never finished between now and August '09... I'll only finish and publish the ones I can actually remember the reasons for sitting down and writing them in the first place). The changes throughout this past year have been monumental and comparing myself to who I was all through 2008, all in all, I'd say it was a half-decent year.

The big landmark for me this year came in February. After continually being beat down by my depression, I decided it was up to me to really turn things around in my life. I made changes in my lifestyle and in my attitude in order to combat the demons that had first began haunting me in the autumn of 2007. My depression may not have vanished over night... in fact, I'm still dealing with it now... but the steps I made then have been far-reaching and it is because of my decisions then that I am able to say that 2009 was an alright year.
A part of my war against depression involved me making another big decision: I quit my job. I'd been employed by my previous employer for 6 and a half years. It wasn't a bad job or anything, but I hated it. I hated it because it was stealing away parts of me that I'd forgotten were a part of me (namely, the creative side). Besides, I needed a change of scenery. And so, after 6 long years, I'd finally moved on.
My decision to quit my job gave me more time to rediscover my creative side. I began writing new comedy sketches and even started a couple of novels (one of them being a not-so-subtle ode to Taylor Swift). Aside from that, I began to play music again. I actually hadn't touched a guitar in over a year (save for the day I accompanied my sister in a talent show last year). Not only did I begin to play the guitar more often ("often" eventually became "several hours a day"), but I began writing again. I'd written songs before, but I'd always thought them rubbish. But the songs I was writing were different; things I could be proud of... songs that actually made me think hmm... these songs actually aren't that bad.
This rediscovery of my love of music married with my newly developed ability to write half-decent songs brought forth a welling of another desire of mine: To perform. While re-watching "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" in the early summer, I came about the episode in which Rupert Giles performs "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who and thought to my self... Hey! I could play in coffee shops and stuff! Since then I've been making an effort to get out there as often as I can to perform music, be it songs I've written or covers... either way, it doesn't matter too much to me.
In July, while on the hunt for open mics, I happened upon an ad on craigslist advertising a 35-40 minute set at a local restaurant. The ad encouraged the performing of original material. It was perfect. I arranged to have myself perform one evening and, despite the meager crowd, quite enjoyed myself. I was however invited back and before I knew it, I'd requisitioned my groove and now have no problem getting into full performance mode.
It was also at this restaurant that I met someone whom I consider a good friend of mine... and I hope she counts me amongst her friends as well. In the short time we've known each other, she's helped me shed this burden of self-deprecation (to an extent at least) and if ever there has been anyone to encourage my musical endeavors, she's the one who shows it the most. For this I'm thankful for her and only hope that one day I'll be able to repay her for her friendship. (This is, of course, not to belittle the encouragement others have given me nor to discount the value of their support)

The hour just rolled over. It's 2010 now. Nothing is different; the first minute of this new year... this new decade... feels the same as the last. The only change that's occurred is that the calender reads a different month, and a different year. If I've learned anything from 2009 it would be this: Our lives are constantly in motion... constantly changing... but unless we make the effort to engineer the changes in our own lives to better ourselves, our lives are not our own. We remain as slaves to ourselves... to the part within us that refuses to get up and push back when life's hardships throw us to the ground.
Time brings with it changes. Only we have the ability to take what life throws at us and shape it into a life we can be proud of... a life we want... a life worth living.

Now, on to 2010.